TYPHooN FRaNK

it is utterly the saddest feeling in the world if you feel useless. its like living without a purpose. without direction. without reason.
last saturday, as we were enjoying a concert (with my wife), a terrible news arrived in my fone from my brother. its a declaration of panic, worry and concern rolled into one message reporting that our home back in the philippines was flooded neck deep. my first reaction was, again, as always, my brother was over reacting. but it was true. my being was torn into two, half enjoying my childhood idols singing and the other half wants to fly back home a.s.a.p.these are those times when you question yourself and not God whether you believe he exists. i know there is a God. a God who is just and has reasons and sometimes those reasons are beyond human understanding and comprehension. if i do have a prayer right now in my head it is for a little bit of wisdom to understand WHY "this" has to happen. my parents are beyond their 60's. my mom has joint problems and my dad has his own kidney and diabetes battle. what is the reason that i cannot understand that "this" has to happen? what do they need to learn from "this" tragedy? are they only being tested, like a game? i don't know. i honestly don't understand. now that all their children are far away and useless, "this" has to happen. silly.
you might see me at work smiling, jerking around and maybe "loose". i do have a serious side and please don't bother if i look stoned. i'm deeply saddened by what happened and i can't wait to go home this 19th of july and assess what damages was done. im not concerned about material things but to hear your mom crying over the fone and you can't even lend a shoulder kills me everytime i remember it. after i go home, maybe i could find answers and understand and hopefully be better wen i come back. i love you mom. i love you pops.

sigh.


watch one. learn one. teach one.