eND oF a CHaPTeR

today will be my last post on blogger . . .a new chapter of my life unfolds . . ivan in real life.
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WeaPoN X

just came back from a date with my wife and we had a movie. . . wolverine, x men origins . . .a slight deviation from what ive read or some unexpected discovery from where and how wolverine evoled before he even was known as x men's wolverine . .good movie . .not so cheezy like what i predicted . . i could never imagine other people playing the part than hugh jackman . .
i dont like to blog anymore. i've read through my recent posts and it is all filled up with complaints . . .i don't want to be that guy anymore . .i always and constanly tempted to complain and grumble behind these words and never confront these emotions . .from this day onwards, i know i have choices. and the choice i make is that of being frank and brutal to anyone who needs to ba taught a lesson . . no more grumbling . .if i could i will keep it and ignore . . if its too much, you will hear from me . .thats the rule . . .

aiyo . . .damn connections . . .

gotta sleep . .early tomorrow . .


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iT'S THe TiMe oF THe YeaR

is it because of the hot weather?
is it because of global warming?
why do crazy people peak during this time of the year?
is it a trend?
does it have a formula to be predicted?
how can it be avoided?
do i just shake my head everytime i encounter it?

these are just a few of the questions that runs through my brawny skull every single day. i know its a hopeless case yet my mind is still trying to fathom the depth and the complexity of the conundrum called MOJOJOJO. yep! iiiiiiiiitttttttt'sss baaack!

trouble is, i go home each day with either a stomach or a head ache because i laugh too hard. work is not tiring. its the laughter each and every minute which is accompanied by either a weird action or a strange remark . . . sigh . . .

im already looking forward next year . .lolz



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aCHy BReaKY HeaD . .

night shift again.
with a throbbing headache this time.
can barely concentrate on what i do without squinting with pain.
feels like someone using a chisel and carve something out of my untidy haircut.

went johore yesterday.
walked until my ankle hurts.
bought some shirts.
wifey got rebonded.
nice hair. i like it so much i want one too.
so so tired but liverpool won again.
forgotten that chelsea match.

pigs are giving me a hard time sleeping.
i dunno if they are nocturnal but so so active at night.
have to buy a water bottle for them that is not so loud . .
they do like their new house, kudos to bansoy.

busy night it seems.
done a lot of specs and only 2 hours has passed.
halfway through my coffee.
a can of coke still awaits.
next on que is a ham and cheese crepe.
then another copi in the wee hours of the morning . .
miss my bed.
date my wife tomorrow afternoon.
and work again on tuesday.
life is like that. make the most of it.


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i BeLieVe. . .

was happy on sat . . .could be happier on sunday . . but still i believe we can do it . .go reds! . . .walk on .. walk on . . .4 points is just an arms reach . .
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MY STReNGTH

i know ive been mean. people do get stressed out. and this is my way out. i write. if only i could avoid confrontations. yet, i never regret things i did coz i do feel that way when i said it.
problems do come and they go. fixing problems doesnt mean you have to get rid of things you dont like. it comes for sure, always.
slept like a baby today. closed my eyes at 1030 am and it didnt open not until i heard my alarm sound at 4pm. before getting up i was thinking . .does my anger really get the better of me? if im pissed, do i really get out of control? if it is, as my wife always remind me, im glad she's there. my comfort, my solace. it is tough, but i did have the choice and i chose to let go of that anger instead of always controlling it. i have given up so much lately and it is my choice.
anyways, together we will find answers to this illness of mine. i do love my job. i am passionate about it. maybe sometimes its too much that it gets through my emotions. nothing in this world could describe how grateful i am to have a wife so understanding and loving as you do to me borj.

i love you mostest.


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WoRST BLooDBaNK . . GeTTiNG THeRe

(deep breath)

what's there to say . . sometimes i just wonder, even talk to myself sometimes, is it plain LAZINESS. . . izzit INCOMPETENCE? . . or just plain STUPIDITY. . . if this is an MCQ type of exam ill answer all of the above . . .

i just took over todays night shift and found out another "thing" left for me to do . .maybe i could just kid myself and let it go like i never saw it . . ok guys, just ponder on this metaphor . . auntie susan is our janitor right? she is in-charge of sweeping the floor, changing garbage bags, maintaining the cleanliness of our workplace, etc etc . . when we do make a mess, we never let auntie susan clear it up for us right? we do wipe or sweep any dirty remnants of our mistakes . . . with the tiniest part of your brain, maybe you can try and process that we do have people in-charge in the bloodbank to OVERSEE things done properly and NOT TO BE A SLAVE cleaning up each and every little thing that must be done! all we need is a little bit of cooperation like we use to have. USED TO HAVE. its alright to talk as much, laugh as much, gossip as much, but . . . WORK AS MUCH too! how can an expired panel cell be left behind for 2 days and never prepare a new batch? 48 hours and not a single soul glance at the fridge to see whether it is expired or not? is it because you are not in charge so its not your obligation to prepare a new one? is that what was taught? if so, damn you. you are full of shit and you should be whacked in the head until you realize you are incompetent, thick witted, thick headed, moronic, idiotic, highly retarded fool!
one of the reasons why people get frustrated and would think of finding new jobs is because of these kinds of incompetent decisions . .i am not paid to be your clean up guy nor anybody for that matter . . as far as i know i also treat you guys equally. i am burning up the remaining brain cells that i have to fathom what kind of thinking or any explaination for these kind of behavior. im tired. im really tired.

own a mirror. have a look.

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WaLK oN. . .

early monday morning, i was sitting down the floor with my loyal companion, my mocha, watching live telecast on hd. liverpool vs aston villa. i was watching alone scratching my dog's ear to sleep . . we just finished trimming her nails and she likes to be rubbed both on the belly and at the back of her ears while falling to sleep . . and what a game it was . . if i too were a man united fan, in which i would never be, i would be worried . . the passing, the aggression, the hunger in those plays ive seen was like no other. to those who were in doubt about the penalty given last week, you have now 2 new penalties to scrutinize and say it was again a referee blunder. you are all assholes.
i never really elaborate how my relationship with my dog goes. i did own a few dogs in my lifetime. mongrels always are available when i was growing up. a japanese spitz, a dalmatian . . .all of which i did have a splendid time with them. but unlike any other, 6 years ago, me and my wife suddenly had this urge(especially her) to own a dog. i didnt even bother to surf the net myself. she went to spca websites, adposts and other never-heard-of-websites. i still remember it was around the 2nd week of december 2004 when my wife told me about a family who owned 5 retrievers, a mix of golden and labradors. 2 of them are up for adoption for the son wil have to leave the house for a long time to serve the army. there was a big, chocolate brown labrador, as tall as my belly, 2 one year old silky black labrador retievers and 2 cream colored golden retrievers namely latte and mocha and both were the ones up for adoption.

twas one fine december 19, afternoon, when we placed a call to meet the dogs. no plans whatsoever to adopt but just to have a look. my wife especially is kinda excited since she was a cat lover, dogs will be quite new and exciting experience for her. when we located the house in tanah merah, ringing the doorbell made it a go for the dogs to meet us at the gate. and what a sight it was. 5 big dogs, free and unbound, without any barks mind you. we were greeted by a fine mdm lisa and escorted us to their terrace. now this was the memorable part of my relationship with mocha, where it all started. we were talking and were sitted in a triangle formation about 2 meters apart, leaving enough room for the dogs to be in our feet. after talking for about 15 mins about dogs and about their behaviors, i just realized a unique thing between these 5 dogs. as the conversation continues, while the other 4 dogs keeps on walking and sniffing and asking for each of our attention, showing off or just plain licking, mocha was just there in front of me. staring, or maybe pleading that she'll be picked, or maybe she was just smart enough to know that the final decision will be made by this guy so better stick with him.
it indeed influenced my decision. 5 mins after leaving the house in tanah merah, we took a cab to go home and inside the cab an argument rose. it was me now who is excited and not my wife! telling her that we should get the dog now and i cant wait one more day. and as my trusted antics (nag and nag an nag) proved to be a powerful persuasive tool. she did agree and off we went to the nearest pet shop to buy basic dog food and a leash . . also called mdm lisa that we did change our mind and we would be taking mocha after 30 min of shopping. and the rest is history . . .. .


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RiMiNiSCiNG . . .

just finished surfing and seing those old photos again . . .the drunkards . . .miss those times . .when we were just care free . . .no worries and nobody to worry . .i chatted with lola last night and realized how much i miss her . .the loud voice . .the clumsiness . . .i miss mother hen too . . .the calm, composed, small-but-terrible, always willing attitude . .her guidance . . .sigh . .
even nicolette . . .another small yet i-will-say-what-i-think personality made me see myself in her . .from her long curly looks to her short but shouting look-at-me hairdo . . .and kelly, young but what a work horse . . .and who could forget jonjon . .her quiet disposition is the perfect hiding place for her evil practical jokes . .

been a while now .. peaceful . .blood pressure was normal for the past 3 weeks . . hope this last as im enjoying it . . funny stories here and there . . more retards by the day . .been extending the network to cp and biochem . .i wonder if it will reach admin side . .like a plague . .hehehe . .just happy to see my girls laughing all the time ..hope its not too much though . .i believe they know their limits . .or else ill kick their behinds . . . retards . .tsk tsk tsk . .and proud of it . .

f for pharmacy . . . .this created quite a stir last week . .how do people get employed . .through good looks or ability to spell? g for japan . . .i couldnt control myself but to laugh . .

been a quiet night so far . .lots of blood requests but nothing much to tell aboute . . .just routine . .lola told me i might have passed my jinx to others . . .frankly speaking i miss those times. . .its like i have a fire under my butt that i cant stop the fone to ring nor our window to stay close . . .bleeder everytime . . .maybe ppl from the east are getting smart oredi that they never jump the buildings anymore . .. hohumn . .

nyt nyt ya'all . . .rest in peace. .


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THRaSHiNG

ive never felt so good in my life . .day off . . .after a gruesome, tiring pc show . . nothing but me and my couch . . .and that song " you'll never walk alone " . .despite of my wife's antics and disturbance from bangkok . . .despite of a mistake made by our nervous goalkeeper . . we won . . liverpool football club dominated . . . .won twice . . .thrashed . . .stomped . . .chewed and puked . . .dessiminated manchester united and their goat for a coach ferguson . .4-1!!! . .glory glory man united . . .glory glory . .. . . .wahahahaha . .

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BaBYSiTTiN'

im the baby and im sitting here on mdm lims chair for quite sometime now . . .been a quiet nyt so far . . .got one fonecall reporting a transfusion reaction yet it never arrive . .maybe they change their mind when they know that im not the one doing it . . .i havent lifted a finger yet . .just some routine trips to cp and help them open tubes and deliver specs . ..qc, t/s, maintenance never do . . .this is what life is supposed to be . . being paid while doing nothing . . .no offence to mum but i must let her do as much as i can ryt??? . .

awim bawep awim bawep awim bawep . . .

ngeeaaaahh, ngeeeaaaahh . (what's that sound again cat???)


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GRoaNiN' 'N GRuNTiN'

it has been a while now . . yes . . i did it . . i did gather enough courage to go back to the gym and made my $63 dollar a months worth of fees work. waking up at 5 am and see all my housemates happily snoring is the hardest part in which after 2 days, it just became routine . .. i do have to admit going home taking the train made m e wanna sit down and sleep coz i was burnt out . . after wednesday i had the most painful buttocks and i feel like carrying 2 dozen fat ozzies in my shoulders and thighs . .so painful that i want to sleep and never get up . .
life goes on . . sad to hear that francis m passed away . . .i did admire the guy though . .i was in my early highschool years when he was heard for his nationalistic raps and quite a good guy behind the tattoos . . .sad that he has to be defeated by leukemia . . .
just started groping around facebook . .. heeehheeee . .i succombed to the temptation after a month of resisting . . i must admit, its kinda new to me but i would never enrich it like what i have here now in blogger . .im a loyalist to blogger and continue to tell my life's story in blogger . . . its called relationship. and relationships should be nurtured and taken care of . .not that facebook is bad but im home with blogger with its corny applications and lousy widgets . . .simplicity is beautiful here . . .
went to johor yesterday and what a surprise to see their new immigration building . .kudos to malaysians . . keeping up with singapore . . .i dread walking about a mile though just to reach the mall . . .you know me and walking . .i hate inconviniences . .i'd pay for a little inconvinence if i have to . .
oscar and heidi had a horny night last night . . .and poor poor heidi . . . maybe to young to give up her virginity to some hermit of a pig . .. been harrassed and raped the whole night that woke us up early this morning . . .nevermind heidi, i feel the same way when i was harrassed and raped too . . .sobz . .but it was worth it in the long run . . .lolz . . .im smiling like a jerk writing about this . . (luv u tjaba tjaba jing jing!)
well, so much for updates and crappy stuff . . .see you when i see you . ..

btw, anybody read the book "marley and me" ? did you guys ever cry???

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uPDaTeS

a lot had happened since the last time i blogged . .been a while . . .just no time to blab about whats going on . .maybe got tired of complaining and became numb and exhausted . . dont even care if nobody reads this junk anymore. maybe its only a way or the only way i can let my anger or frustrations out without making someone lose their teeth.
oh well, my cavies are doing ok, i guess. still learning their behavior and their habits . . .my little girl heidi, seems to be curious and could recognise my voice while baby boy oscar seems aloof, too scared to go out his little tunnel i made for them.
then came midweek where i got this urge to build something for them. went to an arts and crafts store and gathered materials, from coroplast boards to wooden sticks, felt cloths and iron grids, i sat down one night and made my wife happy to see me make a new cage, a new play pen for them. a 15 by 30 inch, 2 storey home for my cavies . .maybe i could later snap some photos of them running around, up and down the stairs . .. while heidi is a glutton, oscar is not so trusting. only eats when nobody is around and keeps looking at you like those doves (pigeons) in the animated move "bolt". his stare is always asking, "do i know you?, i know i've seen you somewhere, but hmmn, do i know you?". . . there goes guinea pigs short term memory . .only lasts 10 seconds i guess . . .
well, about work, it still sux. but i do want a different role now and be an observer. no more imposing of what i want or what must be done. it seems that people do get spoiled if they are treated well. give your hand, they will get the whole arm kind of a deal. i dont like that. nobody likes that. unless you are on the receiving end of it. what kind of a workplace is it that depends benchwork on newcomers? what if they made a mistake? are they liable to answer or those around her who seems indifferent to take all the responsibility? when i was new, i was never bullied to do things i never learned yet. and though i have experience and have done it before in another hospital, its not my ticket to perform such tests without supervision. are we thinking straight here or are we just cowarldy bullies? is our title as MT's and SMT's preceed what we do? can MT's choose jobs or talk more that JMT's? do we always have to boss around newcomers to do things for the lousy reason of "you need practice". remember, if you want to teach someone, you have to supervise and watch that person all the way. guiding and instructing them what techniques should and could help them. telling them to do something and run away and never check is bullying and being bossy. shit to all of you who do this. i promise you will hear from me soon if you don't change. and to those who's priority is PRESS RELATIONS rather than benchwork when its time for benchwork, i dont care if we are close or not, you'll hear me ring your bell also. i have worked here long enough to grow roots and can tell people who are good in what they do and to those who are good in making friends to higher authorities so that they are not only good but they feel good at themselves. shame on you. ill be watching.
phew!
that made my heart pump more blood than usual . . .tsk . . its just fustrating to see everyday the same thing happen without improvement. my main question always starts with "how can blah blah blah . . . .?". im asking coz i was not trained to do things this way. all of us are not trained this way. we have a system. a system that is supposed to be followed. a system that has worked. why do we have to do things another way? for what reason? shame on you.
mooosah!
so far so good . ..my night has started reasonably quiet. just sad to see group o pct's are on the low side but not that low to panic and worry . . .2 samples in an hour . . blogging for 30 mins now . . what more can i ask . .later i could even watch a movie . . and play football in my psp . . .
hey wabsie, keep my blue pillow warm ok? nevermind my saliva, you could smell me in that pillow to help you sleep. luv ya.
anybody else reading this blog entry, up yours!





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CaVieS!

meet oscar and heidi . . .newest members of my family . . .here early in the morning in our bed eating one of their favorite snacks . .pandan leaves!!

LaPaRoToMY

i had an experience before in my previous institution whereby i was the technologist on duty, alone mind you, in a hospital laboratory. handling all departments by myself and had this case of a man, a hippopotamus of a man actually, waistline of no less than 100 inches going for a laparotomy procedure (laparotomy LA-puh-RAH-toh-mee A surgical incision made in the wall of the abdomen. )the man was so fat that liposuction, dieting, and all other hopes of slimming down fails and they had to make his stomach smaller to help him reduce weight by putting on a band (lap banding). well the band ruptured and damaged his peripheral organs and he acquired sepsis (blood infection). making the long story short, he was opened up, tried to be patched up, i was so damn busy, busiest nyt of my career, yet the following 2 days he gave up and died.
tonight, i got another one. no he is not obese, he's just a bleeder. the team of doctors just keeps on wasting blood by not investigating properly whats causing the bleed . . sigh . .there goes my break again . . .
ill be calling all the saints tonigt . .. have mercy.



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PeRHaPS, PeRHaPS, PeRHaPS...

alamak.
so long i haven't blogged and the first thing in my head before blogging is again the same complaints, complaints, complaints. . .
this is becoming redundant. annoying even. can you imagine. im being annoying to myself!
well, life is shitty these times. the world is experiencing recession and bts morals are also in recession. people don't care anymore. save thyself!!!. thats the attitude! human survival instincts overcomes passion and sacrifice. to hell with you im going out and you better take care of the bank! thats the spirit!
well, gone were the days where people envy bts for its quiet, ORGANIZED, harmonious environment. the shepherd left and the herd was left confused and unattended.

quiet night tonight. one trx. one abid. one discrepancy. normal amount of t/s. only a handful of stupid nurses and doctors working. looking forward for my break. hungry.

aaargh . .7 hours to go . . .
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i'D RaTHeR

I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone)
and I tried to find
out if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah

And then I met someone
and thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection they were all lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
who holds my heart

I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine,

I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you,
than good times with someone else (I know)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime),
than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby)
I'd rather have hard times to gether,
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)

I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),
than good times with someone else (surely)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),
than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart (you know it)
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoooo.....who holds my heart


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LuNaR NeW YeaR LoVe

working again full day for the second day straight . . .12 hour boringest shifts . . not until some stupid driver crash his car, only then we can get some excitement . .. hohumn . . .

anyways, i was smilin this morning when i was about to shower . . i was having my early morning coffee and opened the backdoor for my cat was restlessly rubbing his fat tummy to me . . i think he has no choice but to come to me since his mum is happily snoring still in the bed . . . i walked out of the backdoor and sat outside at our neighbors chair to feel the early morning cold breeze . . i thought it was peaceful . . .then suddenly out of nowhere i saw this young teenage white cat my wife has been pimping for our ozzy slowly approach my fat ungrateful cat. as i observe, i saw a paw, gently reaching out just to touch the outstretched paw of this cute white cat . . .and i smiled. i was happy for ozzy and for the experience this morning.

well, me working and all of you are sleeping. may you all grow fat!!!!!


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TuRMoiL!

whoa . . i didn't know and expect people to have same sentiments towards whats going on right now at work. geez. it just fortified my longing to get outta here. and soon.

sad to realize how hopeful and optimistic you can be yet still nothing good will happen. i've been in this kind of situation before and i witnessed a few of these as well. good employees leaving because of mismanagement which ranges from insensitivity to being hypocrites to the max. insensitivity in a sense that you don't know what your staff feels coz you are not there anymore and hypocritical coz even if its being said and done in your face you still got NO TIME to deal with it.

anyways, i was advised to go with the flow (yet again) by a voice i always listen (luv u borj). all i can say now is that time is getting shorter. when the fuse is lit, dont blow coz it will not be put out. again, ill be observing. hoping, to its truest meaning, im really hoping you could wake up with a bump in your head and realize what you are doing is never going to work. same with all those who think they are doing things right in the bbank. are you really working your asses up? do you mind to stop talking while other people sweat coz they are busy and help? dunno who taught you all these things but all i know you were never trained this way. never.

dammit. now my sunday starts with my bp rising. moooooosaaaaaaahhhhh!

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CoN JoBS

i dunno who to blame.
how can a company offer a salary of 2.5k in their ads.
then when you get called up for an interview, they will tell you "our offer is 1.5k only".
then you ask what happens to the other 1k?
they say that the agency will get its share.

wtf?!?

does that mean my declared salary to the ministry of manpower and internal revenue is 2.5k but actual salary that im receiving is 1.5k only?
doest that mean ill be paying taxes for the salary declared as 2.5k while i work for 1.5k only?
why does companies cheat openly about this and no actions are being done?
do i blame them for cheating employees?
or,
do i blame the stupid ones who are desparate enough to be abused by these companies and makes these convicts richer?

think.


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36

HAPPY

ANNIVERSARY

WABSIE!




i love you mostest!
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a VieTCoNG iNVaDeS SiNGaPoRe

the day has come for lil bro to let go of the umbilical cord attaching him to his mother. lolz. and is now attached to me! i wonder how it would feel like. anyways, we do hope and pray that he will have the easiest time possible in finding work here even though it is recession ans all. . . .anyways, welcome 'cong!
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NeW YeaR NeW CHaLLeNGeS

too bad i gotta start a year in red.no not financially. not even emotionally. could be professionally. lolz. funny how life give you lemons. anyways, when lemons being thrown at you, the best thing that you could do is make lemonade out of it.

'lil bro is coming over on the 14th. hope he wont a hard time here in singapore. just a piece of advice though. i know you are down and sad and scared but when everything bad goes your way, ill be the bright side of it all. just tap me in the shoulder and we will work everything out for ya. its the same advice i got from our older siblings. just concentrate as to what you are supposed to do and everything will just follow. all the things youve planned before and other nice surprises awaits you.

anyways, 3rd year anniversary coming and just to let those suckers know, the marriage is as strong if not stronger than before. thanks for all the bad wishers and i hope it didnt bounce back in front of your own lives.
we will be watching lea salonga's cinderella to top it all. my wife and myself being the fan of the arts will be celebrating it on the 15th with arguably the best voice the theatre has ever heard. it might not be as great as cats or miss saigon or the phantom of the opera but hey, its lea salonga singing! anyways, too bad no photo taking allowed. i hope i could sneak up my omnia to do the job.

well, nyt shift and thats it for me today till sunday. happy working bozos.

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BaD oMeN

wel, one way or another, good or bad, its something to kickstart a bullshitfull new year.

no we are not understaffed. its a matter of staff management.

or maybe a matter of human values like being helpful since you know and see that we lack one person on that day. (so put the damn lab coat on and help like what your mentor used to do! dammit!)

or maybe learn 6S to trace how many steps we have to waste just to do test requisition.

or maybe pick up the damn fone that is just 3 inches away from your elbow since the three people working are either issuing blood, doing ABO or busy clearing reagent inventory!

or maybe stand up and see whether you are gaining weight because you sit down too much? (i like joseph).

anyways, working for these kind of people makes me wonder why do i need to go to church regularly since i always bitch about them. well, i got a newsflash for ya. i dont bitch. i say what i think i need to say and that being said, you suck at what you do and because you suck at what you do, good workers go away coz u could be contagious.

time to look for a new pasture. might be green, might be brown. all i know the grass on this side is wilting too fast.

damn you.
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