MY STReNGTH

i know ive been mean. people do get stressed out. and this is my way out. i write. if only i could avoid confrontations. yet, i never regret things i did coz i do feel that way when i said it.
problems do come and they go. fixing problems doesnt mean you have to get rid of things you dont like. it comes for sure, always.
slept like a baby today. closed my eyes at 1030 am and it didnt open not until i heard my alarm sound at 4pm. before getting up i was thinking . .does my anger really get the better of me? if im pissed, do i really get out of control? if it is, as my wife always remind me, im glad she's there. my comfort, my solace. it is tough, but i did have the choice and i chose to let go of that anger instead of always controlling it. i have given up so much lately and it is my choice.
anyways, together we will find answers to this illness of mine. i do love my job. i am passionate about it. maybe sometimes its too much that it gets through my emotions. nothing in this world could describe how grateful i am to have a wife so understanding and loving as you do to me borj.

i love you mostest.


watch one. learn one. teach one.

WoRST BLooDBaNK . . GeTTiNG THeRe

(deep breath)

what's there to say . . sometimes i just wonder, even talk to myself sometimes, is it plain LAZINESS. . . izzit INCOMPETENCE? . . or just plain STUPIDITY. . . if this is an MCQ type of exam ill answer all of the above . . .

i just took over todays night shift and found out another "thing" left for me to do . .maybe i could just kid myself and let it go like i never saw it . . ok guys, just ponder on this metaphor . . auntie susan is our janitor right? she is in-charge of sweeping the floor, changing garbage bags, maintaining the cleanliness of our workplace, etc etc . . when we do make a mess, we never let auntie susan clear it up for us right? we do wipe or sweep any dirty remnants of our mistakes . . . with the tiniest part of your brain, maybe you can try and process that we do have people in-charge in the bloodbank to OVERSEE things done properly and NOT TO BE A SLAVE cleaning up each and every little thing that must be done! all we need is a little bit of cooperation like we use to have. USED TO HAVE. its alright to talk as much, laugh as much, gossip as much, but . . . WORK AS MUCH too! how can an expired panel cell be left behind for 2 days and never prepare a new batch? 48 hours and not a single soul glance at the fridge to see whether it is expired or not? is it because you are not in charge so its not your obligation to prepare a new one? is that what was taught? if so, damn you. you are full of shit and you should be whacked in the head until you realize you are incompetent, thick witted, thick headed, moronic, idiotic, highly retarded fool!
one of the reasons why people get frustrated and would think of finding new jobs is because of these kinds of incompetent decisions . .i am not paid to be your clean up guy nor anybody for that matter . . as far as i know i also treat you guys equally. i am burning up the remaining brain cells that i have to fathom what kind of thinking or any explaination for these kind of behavior. im tired. im really tired.

own a mirror. have a look.

watch one. learn one. teach one.

WaLK oN. . .

early monday morning, i was sitting down the floor with my loyal companion, my mocha, watching live telecast on hd. liverpool vs aston villa. i was watching alone scratching my dog's ear to sleep . . we just finished trimming her nails and she likes to be rubbed both on the belly and at the back of her ears while falling to sleep . . and what a game it was . . if i too were a man united fan, in which i would never be, i would be worried . . the passing, the aggression, the hunger in those plays ive seen was like no other. to those who were in doubt about the penalty given last week, you have now 2 new penalties to scrutinize and say it was again a referee blunder. you are all assholes.
i never really elaborate how my relationship with my dog goes. i did own a few dogs in my lifetime. mongrels always are available when i was growing up. a japanese spitz, a dalmatian . . .all of which i did have a splendid time with them. but unlike any other, 6 years ago, me and my wife suddenly had this urge(especially her) to own a dog. i didnt even bother to surf the net myself. she went to spca websites, adposts and other never-heard-of-websites. i still remember it was around the 2nd week of december 2004 when my wife told me about a family who owned 5 retrievers, a mix of golden and labradors. 2 of them are up for adoption for the son wil have to leave the house for a long time to serve the army. there was a big, chocolate brown labrador, as tall as my belly, 2 one year old silky black labrador retievers and 2 cream colored golden retrievers namely latte and mocha and both were the ones up for adoption.

twas one fine december 19, afternoon, when we placed a call to meet the dogs. no plans whatsoever to adopt but just to have a look. my wife especially is kinda excited since she was a cat lover, dogs will be quite new and exciting experience for her. when we located the house in tanah merah, ringing the doorbell made it a go for the dogs to meet us at the gate. and what a sight it was. 5 big dogs, free and unbound, without any barks mind you. we were greeted by a fine mdm lisa and escorted us to their terrace. now this was the memorable part of my relationship with mocha, where it all started. we were talking and were sitted in a triangle formation about 2 meters apart, leaving enough room for the dogs to be in our feet. after talking for about 15 mins about dogs and about their behaviors, i just realized a unique thing between these 5 dogs. as the conversation continues, while the other 4 dogs keeps on walking and sniffing and asking for each of our attention, showing off or just plain licking, mocha was just there in front of me. staring, or maybe pleading that she'll be picked, or maybe she was just smart enough to know that the final decision will be made by this guy so better stick with him.
it indeed influenced my decision. 5 mins after leaving the house in tanah merah, we took a cab to go home and inside the cab an argument rose. it was me now who is excited and not my wife! telling her that we should get the dog now and i cant wait one more day. and as my trusted antics (nag and nag an nag) proved to be a powerful persuasive tool. she did agree and off we went to the nearest pet shop to buy basic dog food and a leash . . also called mdm lisa that we did change our mind and we would be taking mocha after 30 min of shopping. and the rest is history . . .. .


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RiMiNiSCiNG . . .

just finished surfing and seing those old photos again . . .the drunkards . . .miss those times . .when we were just care free . . .no worries and nobody to worry . .i chatted with lola last night and realized how much i miss her . .the loud voice . .the clumsiness . . .i miss mother hen too . . .the calm, composed, small-but-terrible, always willing attitude . .her guidance . . .sigh . .
even nicolette . . .another small yet i-will-say-what-i-think personality made me see myself in her . .from her long curly looks to her short but shouting look-at-me hairdo . . .and kelly, young but what a work horse . . .and who could forget jonjon . .her quiet disposition is the perfect hiding place for her evil practical jokes . .

been a while now .. peaceful . .blood pressure was normal for the past 3 weeks . . hope this last as im enjoying it . . funny stories here and there . . more retards by the day . .been extending the network to cp and biochem . .i wonder if it will reach admin side . .like a plague . .hehehe . .just happy to see my girls laughing all the time ..hope its not too much though . .i believe they know their limits . .or else ill kick their behinds . . . retards . .tsk tsk tsk . .and proud of it . .

f for pharmacy . . . .this created quite a stir last week . .how do people get employed . .through good looks or ability to spell? g for japan . . .i couldnt control myself but to laugh . .

been a quiet night so far . .lots of blood requests but nothing much to tell aboute . . .just routine . .lola told me i might have passed my jinx to others . . .frankly speaking i miss those times. . .its like i have a fire under my butt that i cant stop the fone to ring nor our window to stay close . . .bleeder everytime . . .maybe ppl from the east are getting smart oredi that they never jump the buildings anymore . .. hohumn . .

nyt nyt ya'all . . .rest in peace. .


watch one. learn one. teach one.

THRaSHiNG

ive never felt so good in my life . .day off . . .after a gruesome, tiring pc show . . nothing but me and my couch . . .and that song " you'll never walk alone " . .despite of my wife's antics and disturbance from bangkok . . .despite of a mistake made by our nervous goalkeeper . . we won . . liverpool football club dominated . . . .won twice . . .thrashed . . .stomped . . .chewed and puked . . .dessiminated manchester united and their goat for a coach ferguson . .4-1!!! . .glory glory man united . . .glory glory . .. . . .wahahahaha . .

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BaBYSiTTiN'

im the baby and im sitting here on mdm lims chair for quite sometime now . . .been a quiet nyt so far . . .got one fonecall reporting a transfusion reaction yet it never arrive . .maybe they change their mind when they know that im not the one doing it . . .i havent lifted a finger yet . .just some routine trips to cp and help them open tubes and deliver specs . ..qc, t/s, maintenance never do . . .this is what life is supposed to be . . being paid while doing nothing . . .no offence to mum but i must let her do as much as i can ryt??? . .

awim bawep awim bawep awim bawep . . .

ngeeaaaahh, ngeeeaaaahh . (what's that sound again cat???)


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GRoaNiN' 'N GRuNTiN'

it has been a while now . . yes . . i did it . . i did gather enough courage to go back to the gym and made my $63 dollar a months worth of fees work. waking up at 5 am and see all my housemates happily snoring is the hardest part in which after 2 days, it just became routine . .. i do have to admit going home taking the train made m e wanna sit down and sleep coz i was burnt out . . after wednesday i had the most painful buttocks and i feel like carrying 2 dozen fat ozzies in my shoulders and thighs . .so painful that i want to sleep and never get up . .
life goes on . . sad to hear that francis m passed away . . .i did admire the guy though . .i was in my early highschool years when he was heard for his nationalistic raps and quite a good guy behind the tattoos . . .sad that he has to be defeated by leukemia . . .
just started groping around facebook . .. heeehheeee . .i succombed to the temptation after a month of resisting . . i must admit, its kinda new to me but i would never enrich it like what i have here now in blogger . .im a loyalist to blogger and continue to tell my life's story in blogger . . . its called relationship. and relationships should be nurtured and taken care of . .not that facebook is bad but im home with blogger with its corny applications and lousy widgets . . .simplicity is beautiful here . . .
went to johor yesterday and what a surprise to see their new immigration building . .kudos to malaysians . . keeping up with singapore . . .i dread walking about a mile though just to reach the mall . . .you know me and walking . .i hate inconviniences . .i'd pay for a little inconvinence if i have to . .
oscar and heidi had a horny night last night . . .and poor poor heidi . . . maybe to young to give up her virginity to some hermit of a pig . .. been harrassed and raped the whole night that woke us up early this morning . . .nevermind heidi, i feel the same way when i was harrassed and raped too . . .sobz . .but it was worth it in the long run . . .lolz . . .im smiling like a jerk writing about this . . (luv u tjaba tjaba jing jing!)
well, so much for updates and crappy stuff . . .see you when i see you . ..

btw, anybody read the book "marley and me" ? did you guys ever cry???

watch one. learn one. teach one.